I see you: you’re tired, and sweet little Sally has pulled every personal item out of your purse and now your lip balm has rolled under the seat behind you.
Little Sally also giggled (several times, very loudly) at the quietest point of the sermon.
During the second song she tried to dart out of the pew and into the aisle. (Remember when she did that last week? You didn’t get to her in time and she went right up front and tried to start a conversation with the organist.)
After church, you’d like to be friendly and spend a few minutes chatting, but Sally has missed her late morning nap and is having a meltdown in your arms.
You wonder why you even try to come to church.
You feel overwhelmed. You feel like you’re not getting anything from the sermon because you can’t focus on what the minister is saying. You feel like your child is a distraction to the families seated near you. You feel like everyone is looking at you and critiquing your parenting skills.
Please keep coming, keep trying.
Sally is a toddler, and she is learning how to act at church. It takes time. There will come a day when she won’t disrupt the service, and you’ll look over and she’ll be worshipping Jesus with tears streaming down her face.
There will come a day when you’re riding in the car, on your way home from church, and she’ll say something like, “Wow, mom! Today’s message really made me think about _____ differently!” And then a thoughtful conversation will continue for the rest of the ride home.
That day is coming.
See, not only is little Sally learning, but you are learning, too.
You are learning how to train up a child in the way she should go.
You are learning how to be a patient mama.
You are learning how to keep your sweet girl seated next to you during the sermon, instead of back and forth between pews.
You are gleaning ideas for inspiring a heart of worship in your child while she’s young.
You are learning how to be intentional about raising up children to walk in the Truth.
You are learning about blessed motherhood in the midst of a community of believers.
You may feel like everyone is watching you, judging you, but every young mama has been there. A few of them may have forgotten, but it’s happened to us all in some form or fashion.
Have I ever told you about the time I was in church (at a special, annual, state-wide conference service, actually… with lots of new faces) and my toddler’s diaper overflowed? My pretty dress was soaked all. down. the. front. Yes, this happened to me – the pastor’s wife.
Or maybe I should pause and mention that one of my boys hated being confined to our pew and constantly darted into the aisle. If I found a way to keep him in the pew, then he would creatively find a way to climb under the seats and into the aisle or the row behind us. I’d close my eyes, raise my hand to worship, and then – poof! – he’d be gone.
You’re not alone, precious mama. We’ve been where you are. I’ve been there, too.
Our stories may be slightly different, but we share the same mission. Keep your chin up, fix your eyes on Jesus, and don’t be discouraged. Give yourself grace.
You are doing important work by sowing seeds of faith into your little one and allowing them to grow in the Body of Christ.
One day you will reap a harvest of blessings from this season of sowing. It’s hard work, and you must be intentional, but one day you will take joy in knowing your children walk in Truth! The seeds you plant in their heart today will transform into firmly rooted trees that will help them weather the storms of life.
Yes, church is for busy toddlers and tired mamas, too. Embrace this season and the important work you get to do today. You are building up a home that has a solid foundation!
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Go in grace today,
Great read! I had two sons that were very active and some days going to to church was mayhem . When my oldest boy was 3 he was having a overly active day! He was on the pew , under the pew , trying to climb over the pew kinda day. Finally exhausted from talking to him and getting a whole of stares from those around. I gave him a choice to either have a seat or we were heading to the washroom to chat. You can guess what he choose! We were heading to the bathroom for a stern talk. Which I really didn’t want to as we were sitting very close to the front of the church. I knew all eyes would be on us. I need to follow through. We get up and out of the pew! Start up the ramp to the back of the church towards the bathroom. When in a loud voice he says ” Help me people help me” . I have to say at that moment chatting wasn’t what I was thinking about!! Everyone laughed! I on the other hand couldn’t get up that ramp fast enough. We get to the bathroom I kneel to talk to my on the pew, under the pew , over the pew boy and in his boyish grin says ” sorry mommy” . I hug him tell him ” I love him” and let’s call it a day!
That boy is now 19 years old!He has out grown jumping over the pews , continues says funny things , often tells me he’s sorry and I still get to hug this 6″8 boy and tell him ” I love him” .
What a wonderful testimony!
Thank you. I needed this. I have three little ones, two that go to nursery, but one that stays with me in church and sometimes its tough. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this! Having 3 little ones 4 & under & another one on the way I often feel this way, so thank you for the encouragement!
A great read, made me smile, cry and think and I don’t even have small ones.
Yes, thank you for sharing this. Us mommas & dad’s need the encouragement. Our youngest of 3 is 2, he is very active & loves to visit folks he likes during service’s & sometimes is yes, tired and just downright crabby or awful. I play piano organ & sing such & feel so bad when the kids are being a handful for my husband or the other family we have there too. He is very very good with taking him out & giving disipline when needed & holding to calm down too.
Our middle child, Ruby is 6, she was a tough active toddler also in Church. Many times I’d stay in the Nursery & wonder why am I doing this? Well she grown, has such a heart for Jesus & is soooo excited to be getting Baptized in Jesus Name this Sunday.
Your article reminded me of how she was as a toddler & wow, look at her raise her hands at the alter & at home in praise today… someday my little George will do mighty things for Jesus too… until then, I’ll try not to get so frustrated in those very hard, embarrassing & exhausting services 🙂 bless you.
Thank you. That’s all I can say. My first born is turning 2 on Friday. I feel this way ever since time we go to church. She’s almost potty trained so we can’t ignore either potty break request. I feel we are disrupting everyone. We are the only young family among our small congregation.
Someone tells me every week that we are doing great but it’s been weighing heavily on me until now. She doesn’t have many outbursts but keeping her in our pew or semi quiet is practically impossible. I’m so blessed to have found this. Thank you very much.
I am in this season right now, with my little one learning to walk and toddle. She doesn’t want to sit still and she loves to see how far she can make it before I catch her. She loves music and sings one long (loud) note during the hymns. She comes with us to our gospel shows (we’re gospel singers) and she always waves and claps at the people. She is so full of life, but I’m never sure if she’s ‘behaving’ and it can be quite exhausting. This is my first, my miracle baby, given to us after 15 years of marriage. She is God’s gift to us and I’m trying to do my best; I truly desire that she would be raised in the church. Thank you for your post, it made me feel like I matter and like my efforts are not for nothing. Thank you and God bless.
Oh what a precious miracle baby! She is learning to love God and His people. You are doing a great job, mama!
I pretty much chuckled with some tears while reading this post. I am so in that spot now. Thank you for the encouraging and gracious words. Visit from coffee for your heart #86
This is a beautiful post! I have 16 month old twins and going to church is so difficult. My husband and I recently started having to do a long distance marriage so I could go back to school and he can work. It’s been really tough on us spiritually and hard for me to manage the babies without him, especially at church. I need to start making this a priority again for my girls. Thank you! <3
Please do! I am going to keep you in prayer, Ashley!
Thank you for this great post. We are in a very small housechurch and I was considering finding a church with more than 1 toddler (mine). Although everyone says little toddler is not disturbing when he crawls between everyone trying to catch an ant or thinks the pastor and he is having a dialogue, talking throughout the sermon, one can’t help to feel in the way and conscious about it.
Everything you said is so true.
So true! Be encouraged! As a mother of 4 on the other side of the spectrum with my youngest being 17., the habits you form now will stay with your children for life! Your kids won’t be perfect but it’s true that when you train them in the way they should go, when they grow up they will not depart from it. They may fall away for a time to the ways of the world, but they will never forget that you trained them to put God first! Mine haven’t been perfect kids, but All 4 of mine have a relationship with Jesus…what more could a mom ask for!
Thank you. Really thank you.
You article could have been titled Dear Single Aunt Lizzy who inherited 6 busy nieces and nephews ages 3-19 with Autism at Church. Thank you for reminding me that God has our back and our hearts. It just seems spiritual things are not getting through-thanks for reminding me they are.
Ahh, babies at church – love the sound of those screaming babies! Such good points you make. Babies who grow up in church regard it as another home, which is a great thing to witness.
I read this article in the current issue of Reflections and it truly ministered to me. In fact, it made me cry! Thanks so much for writing it and for giving young moms like me grace.
Welcome, sweet Sara! Thank you for the encouragement!
I don’t have children, but I shared your post to my FB page anyway. You wrote so well about this issue. I know children are better off coming to church and hope and pray that all the grownups have patience with them! Thanks for sharing this on the #HomeMattersParty
How sweet of you, Jeanne! Thank you!
Love this post too. I am at home most days without my husband except for a few in the month – he drives over the road and I have 3 that I home school and attempt to get to church on time. I have been down this road but I wish I would have read this last year when I was hiding out at home or in the nursery lol.
Yes, church is for all of us! Those years are so tough, but they fly by. Keep going, Mamas!
Yes! It is oh, so hard to be this mom. We have to give ourselves & others grace.
Thanks, this was a good read! I have 2 little ones so I understand the struggle.
This a great reminder, Jaime, since I am at the stage in life where noisy children bother me. There were times I had to keep my son out of the nursery because he literally hated being around other people and he caused such misery for those ladies and other children. I spent plenty of services in the crying room just the two of us, so my husband and others were not bothered. Thanks for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.
Oh my gosh, it’s like you’ve been following us to church for the past year. 🙂 This is SUCH an encouragement to me. Thank you. xo
Thank you for encouraging every mom to keep on coming to church. And for us who are done with these years, may we remember and perhaps take a toddler for a walk or drink so that their mom can enjoy a service or have time to connect with others. Glad to have stopped here from Coffee For Your Heart! Blessings!
I needed this post. I stop going to church because my toddler was running around and I spend more time chasing him or outside of church and I miss the whole mass some days.
This post has given me a bit a hope this Advent.
I love this! My 4th is currently my toddler and boy is she giving me a run for my money! And as the pastor’s wife I feel like everyone is watching me and depending on me to handle the situation correctly, every.single.time! 🙂
What an apt message for a mama of 3 year old triplets. Every morning I tell my children that we should be quiet in church, but ofcourse the moment we get there my kids talk aloud. This sunday one wanted to go potty, and the other two started screaming “I want to see my mama” while the Lord’s Supper was being passed.
I know my Lord loves to hear the sweet melodies and screaming from my children 🙂
Thank you so much for this post.
Blessings
Diana
http://dianasdiaries.com
I will be sharing this with our MOPS mamas! It can be so overwhelming to feel like you are a distraction or like you can not focus in the service because you are wrangling a wiggly little person the whole time. I’m so thankful that my husband has taken this challenge head-on while I interpret for Deaf Ministry. He has done a remarkable job of teaching my almost 3 year old how to sit quietly and participate in worship. When I hear her singing praise songs during the week, or look back to see her laying her hands on his head in prayer, my heart overflows with gratitude! (And when I am the one tasked with holding her and keeping her quiet I am even more thankful!! It’s no easy feat!)
It’s helpful to know that every parent has gone through the first years of taking their kids to church. My wife and I tried to take our daughter to church back when we lived in our old home, and it was a complete disaster. Last month, we moved to another area, and we think we’ll follow your advice about trying to take our young ones to church.