(Note: Today’s post is written with pastor’s wives in mind. Not a pastor’s wife? No worries! Grab the link and share it with your pastor’s wife, or pin it so others can find it.)
She peered at me inquisitively through her thin, wire-framed glasses, “Are you going to play the piano tonight?”
Oh no, not that question again, I thought to myself. It seemed like every time my husband was a guest minister at another church, I was asked the same question – am I going to play the piano?
Here’s the catch: I don’t know how to play the piano.
Please understand, it’s not that I haven’t tried. All good preachers’ wives play the piano, right? As a younger woman, I took lessons, and took more lessons, and tried lessons again, only to find that I’m not musically gifted, and no amount of lessons was ever going to make me any better.
Since those earlier years, I’ve learned pastors’ wives come in all shapes and sizes, with varying talents, giftings, and skillsets. We’re not all the same. I love to research, write, and encourage. Others may feel drawn to intercessory prayer. Yet many common stereotypes tell pastors’ wives they should play the piano, sing, teach Sunday School, host home bible studies, lead the women’s ministry, give all of their waking hours to church work while also being a helpmeet to their husband and a perfect mom to perfect children, and so much more. Who can keep up? Certainly not me!
Did you know the bible doesn’t give a specific “job description” to ministry wives? We can serve the body of Christ without giving credence to those stereotypes. We can teach, lead, play, sing, write… using the talents He has given to us for the edification of the body. In short, we’re all called to serve and to love. Serve faithfully, whole-heartedly, as unto the Lord, whether it be as a ministry leader, Sunday school teacher, church door greeter, or passionate encourager.
An older, wiser minister’s wife once told me, “You didn’t marry the ministry, you married the man.” In other words, don’t feel discouraged when you’re not able to live up to everyone’s expectations. You can’t be all things to all people, but you can take steps to cultivate a strong marriage and be the wife your husband needs, while raising your children to love the things of God and appreciate the nuances of ministry life.
One pastor of a well-known church has been known to say, “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” Your calling in this season of life might simply look like serving your family to the best of your ability. Your children might be your mission field!
Inspiring Books for Pastors Wives
One question new pastors’ wives often ask is if there are any helpful books written for ministry wives, and so this list was born. These books are suggestions shared by other seasoned, respected pastors’ wives.
While I haven’t personally read them all, I’ve read a couple of them, and all eight of them are well-reviewed. I’ve linked them to Amazon so you can read the summaries and reviews of each.
(Please share this list with your pastor’s wife so she can use it as a resource, too.)
Is there a particular book or resource that’s helped you serve in your ministry role? What’s helped you keep the right perspective? Please share in the comments so we can all be blessed by it!
Go in grace today,
Related: Looking for ways to protect your family online? We use and recommend Covenant Eyes.